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05/06/2019
I have a strange habit of taking naps before I go to sleep. I know... It sounds weird. Oftentimes I will be lost in thought with my eyes closed, and before I know it, I've fallen asleep. (This has been a source of silly arguments in the past. One time my wife told me to turn the light off and put away my work, but I responded, "I'm thinking about it!" Yeah, it was definitely time to go to sleep.) Other times I am watching television or reading a book, and I feel the sleep start to wash over me. Even though I know I should get up and go to the bathroom one last time (surely I'm not the only who makes sure every last drop is evacuated before settling in for the night), I embrace the slumber and exit from the day.
The only problem is that eventually I will wake up shortly thereafter to go to the bathroom or brush my teeth if I forgot to do it. But in reality, for the most part it isn't that difficult to go back to sleep. Here's the rub. If I had gotten up to take care of these evening chores before the nap, I would have had an incredibly difficult time going to sleep. I would have missed the chance to feel the sleep overtake me. For me it is a rush.
Instead of being responsible, I succumb to slumber. Background noises fade out. Sometimes they creep back into my consciousness, but they they fade out again in longer and longer chunks. I feel as though I have control over this. I can sense the noise and filter it out. I am mostly awake, but I make the conscious effort to drown out the sounds to a low muffle. I replace them with the sounds inside my head as a part of ushering in the dream sequences.
I had one of these episodes last night. I closed my eyes to contemplate only to wake up an hour and a half later. In that short time I had a very vivid dream (as are most of my dreams). I woke up and wrote half a page of notes about the dream. Even now I can remember so many details. It doesn't really make a lot of sense, but the dream was very intense. It was an active dream that turned deeply emotional at the end.
I won't tell the story today, for it is getting to be late. Tomorrow perhaps...